It's an Autumn-Filled Hodgepodge....

Many thanks to our hostess, Joyce, From This Side of the Pond, for another edition of Hodgepodge!   

Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 281

Welcome to another edition of the Wednesday Hodgepodge! 

1. Thursday (September 22) is the first official day of autumn in this part of the world...how will you welcome the season?  It's just another day in Florida.  Hot and humid.  I know some of you have been celebrating way too early, but it's official now so permission granted. House Beautiful recently listed ten ways to make your home smell like fall (you can read the list here) What's a scent you love this time of year and how will you add it to your home?  I love the smell of cloves and cinnamon, but won't do anything special to add it to our home.  I'm not into scented candles or diffusers.

2. Apple pie or pumpkin pie?  Neither.  Apple cake or pumpkin bread?  Pumpkin bread if it's my mom's recipe.  Warm apple cider or a pumpkin spice latte?  Cider.

3. Do you suffer from what is sometimes referred to as an afternoon slump?  Only if I've had a big lunch.  When 3:00 hits, I'm ready for a nap.  What helps ward it off before it hits and/or tell us what helps you shake it off once it's here?  Just more coffee.

4. Ladies-how have your friendships with women inspired you or made you a better person?  Gosh, I've never given this any thought.  I think our good friends (male OR female) inspire us to be better people just by how they care for us and others...leading by example.  Love and friendships should always inspire us to reach (or see) our potential.  For the men here today- how have your friendships with men inspired you or made you a better person?

5. Are you a people pleaser?  To an extent, but not as much as I used to be. I've learned to say no and to understand myself better as I've gotten older.  If you said yes, do you think that's a good or bad thing? If you said no, do you wish you were more of a people pleaser?   I am committed to pleasing my family and good friends when it is possible.  I'm not committed (anymore) to always trying to please 'everyone'.  Sometimes is much easier said than done, but take a look at this list:

10 Ways to Stop Being a People Pleaser

  

1 Realize that you have a Choice

You don’t have to always say yes when someone asks you to do something. Even if you feel like you have to do it, you don’t. You can say yes, no, or maybe later. You always have a choice.

2 Just Say No

You have the right to say no. Remind yourself of that from time. You are not even obligated to give a reason most of the time. If you can’t get to no right away, then try saying maybe later. You might mean never, but at least you’ve bought some time.

3 Set your Own Priorities

Start making a daily plan and your own priority list at work. Then when someone asks you for help you can point to your list and say sorry, but I’m busy. Your priority list will also remind you that what you are already doing is important as well.

4 Take Time to Think about it

Buying time is always a good option. A great answer to a request for help is to ask for time to think about it. No one can be offended by that response and it gives you some time and space to decide what you want to do.

5 Ask Questions

As you are thinking about it you can ask yourself some questions like do you really have time to do this? What do I have to give up in order to help this other person out? Or am I going to resent doing this later? These questions help you to evaluate the impact of your decision.

6 Remember, it’s Not Your Fault

Even if the person making the request tells you that they will suffer if you don’t do this favor for them, you have to remember that’s it not your problem and that it’s not your fault. They got themselves into this situation and the consequences are all theirs. Don’t let them burden you with their problems.

7 Start Putting up Boundaries

A people pleaser will get asked to help by others who often use them because they don’t have good boundaries. Start setting up your own boundaries and rules and be clear in communicating these to others. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do, and don’t go beyond these limits.

8 Don’t Worry about the Reaction

Sometimes people who are always asking for favors intimidate us by their reaction when we say no. You have to ignore their reaction, which is often negative and sometimes even angry. You are not responsible for their reaction, so don’t take it on.

9 Take Small Steps

The first time you say no will be the hardest. But every time after that will become a little easier. Try saying no to your closest friends who will most likely understand and be supportive. Then try it out with the people you get along with well at work.

10 Build on Success
Whenever you make even a little progress out of your old habit of being a people pleaser, you should do two things. One is to record your success in a notebook or your journal including what you did and how you felt afterwards. The second is to reward yourself. Something small that recognizes that you are finally putting yourself first.

6. The seasons are a-changin'...share a favorite song relating in some way to change (not necessarily seasonal change, it could be change of any kind).  One of my all-time favorites came to mind immediately.  I had the 45 rpm record of this when I was in junior high school.   Not necessarily about changing, but it is in a way.  Ecclesiastes 3....

7. What do you wish would never change?  I can't think of anything I would wish to stay the same.  I don't really want time to stand still as much as it hurts to see loved ones aging and/or losing them.  Never changing would be so boring and we can't go back in time to a better time because there really wasn't a better time....just different.  There are quite a few things I WOULD change if I could, but nothing I really want to never change.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.  I sometimes think I am the only person around who just doesn't like pumpkin flavored anything (except my mom's recipe for pumpkin bread).  One piece of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving Day is enough for me and pumpkin soup, coffee, cookies, cake... blehh.  Oh well.  Anyone with me?

Thanks again, Joyce, for this fun Hodgepodge!! 

Thank you all for your visit today!  Peace & hugs!