....or does it?
My friend, Teena, shared this on Facebook and it spoke to me. I wanted to share it here and hope you take the time to read all of it. I am so guilty of saying "...everything happens for a reason" and I believed it, but this article has twisted it around a bit. I won't say that again, in the same way I have said it in the past.
Dear Christians, Stop Saying “Everything
Happens for a Reason”
I spent years searching for answers, trying to find reasons that
would bring an end to my pain. I thought that if I could find the cause, I
could treat the condition.
Have you ever found
yourself, in the midst of unimaginable grief, pain, heartache or despair,
wondering how you are going to make it through another day? Wondering where
your next breath is going to come from? Your world has crumbled beneath you and
you are left feeling shattered, empty and hopeless.
And then a well
meaning friend or family member comes along and drops the infamous “Everything
happens for a reason” bomb. You smile kindly and nod—that’s all you can do
to keep yourself from punching them in the face.
You can’t possibly
imagine a reason for what just happened.
The more you stew
about a possible reason for your pain, the angrier you become. You try
desperately to make sense of a situation that won’t ever make sense. You reach
for answers but none come.
I spent years
searching for answers, trying to find reasons that would bring an end to my
pain. I thought that if I could find the cause, I could treat the condition.
But what I found through years of searching, experiencing and living is that
often there is no reason for why tragedy has occurred.
Sometimes bad things
happen for no reason other than we are human beings having a human experience.
Pain, heartache, grief, loss, disease and death are inevitable parts of the
human experience.
We hear people say
“Life dealt me a crappy hand” as if pain and hardships are not the norm. We
assume that life is supposed to be easy and when things don’t go our way, we
feel like we have been wronged. Human beings seem to have an innate sense of
entitlement. We think that we are owed a pain-free existence.
But the truth is that human
beings are not exempt from the human experience. And struggle is an innate part
of the human experience. None of us are exceptions to this rule. We
all struggle. We all suffer. We all experience pain, heartache and loss. And
sometimes, there’s just no reason other than we are human and pain is a part of
the process.
I recently had a
conversation with a friend who was struggling to find peace with “God’s plan”
for her life including the recent death of a loved one. “How could this
possibly be God’s will?” she asked.
Here’s what I’ve come
to know about God’s will:
God’s plan is never
for someone to have cancer. God’s will is not for an innocent child to be
brutally murdered. God’s will is not for a teenage girl to be raped. God’s will
is not chronic pain, illness, disability or death.
God’s will is not an
event that happens to us, it’s how we respond to what happens.
God’s will for us is
to walk with Him through the cancer. Through the abuse. Through the death.
Through the illness. God’s will is for us to draw close to him in the midst of
pain. God’s will is for us to use our painful life events to carry his
message of hope, grace, forgiveness and mercy.
God’s plan was never
for pain to be part of the human experience. His plan was for us to live in
peace and harmony with Him. The human experience became painful when sin
entered the world. Our own free will weaved threads of tragedy, loss, heartache
and pain into the human experience
God is not responsible for our pain. We are not responsible for our pain. What
happened in the Garden of Eden is responsible for the human condition. And the
human condition is hard wired for pain and suffering. God is not causing us to
hurt. He is hurting with us. What we do with our hurt is what matters. How we
handle tragedy is what brings purpose into our pain.
There’s hardly ever a
justifiable reason for the bad things that happen in life. Tragic loss is not
laced with inherent specs of good. I used to get so mad when people would say,
“You can find good in every situation.” That’s just not true. There was nothing
good about being raped. There is no good in murder or abuse. We have to
create the good. We have to choose to respond in a way that brings good into an
impossible situation. We have to choose to give purpose and meaning to our
suffering.
Not everything happens
for a reason. But in everything that happens, there can be a reason to bring
hope and healing to others. God can use our pain for a greater good if we
choose to let Him in.
About the Author: Christine Suhan is a wife, stay at
home mother to three wild toddler boys and writer/creator at www.feelingsandfaith.net. She has a master’s degree in
marriage and family therapy and enjoys helping people through openly and
honestly sharing her journey of life, recovery, mental illness, marriage,
parenting and more. You can also find her on her Facebook page.
I am very interested in what you think about this. Your comments make me HAPPY and will count for the 23rd August Happiness Challenge! Thanks for your visit today! Peace & hugs.