Daffy Definitions!

Daffy Definitions

Aquadextrious:
 The art of turning the bathtub tap on with your toes.
Pain:
 A cat licking your sunburn.
Budget:A method for going broke methodically.
Willpower:
 The ability to eat only one salted peanut.

Profanity:
The linguistic crutch of inarticulate idiots.
Boat:
 A hole in the water surrounded by wood into
 which one pours money.

Bachelor:
One who treats all women as sequels.
Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper,
 fire at one end, fool at the other.

Flashlight:
 A case for holding dead batteries.
Taxpayer:
Someone who doesn't have to take a public
service exam to work for the government.
Consciousness:
That annoying time between naps.
Stress:
The confusion created when ones mind overrides
the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out
 of some idiot who desperately needs it.

Jury:
Twelve people who determine which client
 has the better lawyer
Chickens:
The only animals you eat before they are
born and after they're dead.
Hospitality:
Making your guests feel at home,
even if you wish they were.
Adult:
 A person who has stopped growing at both ends
and is now growing in the middle.