My friend, Shirley, sent these to me by email. Some are oldies, some were new to me, but they all are good for a giggle or two. Enjoy.
Some oldies but goodies!!!
Ponderisms
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE
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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)
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3. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
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4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?
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6. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
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9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
10. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
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11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
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12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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13. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
16. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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19. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
21. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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22. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
3. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
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4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?
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5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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6. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
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8. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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10. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
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12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
13. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.
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14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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16. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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19. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
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20. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
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21. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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22. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?
Happy Tuesday, y'all. Thanks for stopping by. Peace & hugs.
Those are good ones! Some make sense....lol
ReplyDeleteHa! Those were a great start to the day. I'd never heard a few of them.
ReplyDeleteLOLOL. LOVE IT! smiles
ReplyDeleteOh Terri, these were delightful this morning.
ReplyDeleteLOL these made me smile.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!
Oldies, but goodies. Thanks for the laugh, Terri!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Now those are some good questions. :)
ReplyDeleteI loved these!! Hadn't heard lots of them before. I think I laughed the loudest at onety-one!! I started thinking onety-two, onety-three, onety-four.....
ReplyDeleteSo many truths … giggle! #4 made me chortle out-loud!
ReplyDeleteLOL, Terri. This was a fun post! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteGood laughs here. Thanks!
ReplyDelete