Memory Monday....

Today, we who are participating in Retired Not Tired's meme, Memory Monday, are writing about "My Husband".  I write about Joe all the time, so there won't be much to say that most of you haven't heard before, but here we go....

My Joe is a 1st generation American. His dad came to America, from Italy, in 1924.  Joe's mom was born here, to Italian immigrants.  I guess that makes him 1/2 of a 1st generation American.  Joe's parents owned their own meat market, and Joe worked with his dad and his older brother in the meat market, from the time he was 10 or 11.  He went to cattle auctions with his dad, he helped to kill and butcher the animals, and he worked in the store, and also made meat deliveries.  Joe is the middle son of three boys. Nick is 7 years younger than Joe, and didn't work in the meat market.

Joe went to Norristown High School, in Pennsylvania.  He was a star football player, he played basketball, but his love and real talent was on the baseball field.  He graduated from high school and went to Villanova University, where he graduated with a degree in economics/accounting.

Joe took a job with Arthur Anderson, in New York City, after he graduated.  He also enlisted in the Army Reserves.  A year or so later, he married Loretta DelGesse, whose parents were also immigrants from Italy. The families had known each other for years, but Joe had never dated Loretta until after high school.

Joe and Loretta married and had two sons, Joey and Jeff.  In 1981, Loretta was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. It was inoperable. Joe quit his job, kept her at home, and cared for her himself. Joey was away at college (Villanova) and Jeff was still in high school.  Being Catholic, they became very close with Father Fasano, at St. Michaels Catholic Church, in Annandale, VA.  He counseled the boys and stayed close to the family, as Loretta got worse.  She actually died at home, on April 5th, 1983.  April 5th is Joey's birthday, so it was very rough on him, especially.

I met Joe on August 1, 1983.  It was a chance meeting, at a place neither of us would normally have been on a Monday night.  I was at a movie with a co-worker/friend and Joe was attending a benefit for someone who was sick and a member of the gym he belonged to.  That is the first day he had taken off his wedding ring.  I would not have talked to him, if he had a wedding ring on. It was a chance meeting, but we talked for hours. That he was 46 and I was 32 didn't seem like a big deal (and still isn't), but we have had some very fun moments because he is 14 years older than me.

When I leaned that he was a recent widower, I was reluctant to form a relationship. It seemed too soon for him to be dating or looking for someone (and he really wasn't). We sometimes think that perhaps we were being directed by a greater power, but whatever it was, the rest is history.

I started going to Mass with Joe and the boys. I decided to explore becoming Catholic, and started classes with Fr. Fasano. Joe's testimony and strong faith struck a chord in me. I was raised Methodist, but had grown away from the church. When we started getting serious about where the relationship was headed, I started annulment proceedings, and was actually Fr. Fasano's first annulment. I had been married for 10 years, but had been separated and divorced for over a year when we met (I wasn't looking for anyone new!).  It ended up taking 18 months to get the annulment so we could get married in the Catholic Church.  During those 18 months, I went ahead and converted to Catholicism and our love grew stronger.

Joe worked as the accountant/CFO in several companies during his career. When he quit his job to care for Loretta, he was actually a partner in a printing company, and sold his half to his partner.  Joe became a CPA after we were married and I encouraged him to start his own practice.  He has told me several times through the years that my encouragement allowed him to follow a dream he had been afraid to pursue with a growing family.

I married Joe and became step-mom to my boys.  I love them like my own, and they call me mom and acknowledge me as their parent. I have never tried to take Loretta's place. She was an amazing woman, who told Joe, the boys and her parents that she wanted Joe to get married again. She wanted him to find someone who would love her boys (he did), and she really paved the way for me to enter all their lives.  I am just sure I would have liked her, had we met.  Joe freely tells people that he is a lucky man, who found two good women to marry. I just feel blessed.  I don't mind that there are photos of her around, that she is talked about with love, and that her memory is so special to Joe and the boys.

And speaking of blessed, I now also have two very special grandchildren.

Joe and I have been married almost 30 years now, and I wouldn't trade him or the years for anything! He is my best friend, my lover, my confidant, and I am his greatest fan. Life has been, and continues to be good. I am blessed. We take our vows seriously and have weathered sickness and hard times, and have always emerged stronger. Blessed.

Thanks for stopping by!!  Hop over to Retired Not Tired  to join in on this Memory Monday meme!!

Peace, love & hugs.